Better planning instead of wheel of panic

I had an appointment by a dentist. I had the date in my calendar, yet I have missed it. Well – not completely… I’ve remembered on appointment few minutes before I should be there. It was that ‘fuck!’ moment. I just took my car and went straight to it. I wanted to call that I will be late, but my battery was empty – which happens really rarely. I was in need to see him, because one tooth was slightly painful for quite some time and I was afraid that I will have problems while travelling out of state.

When I have arrived, the dentist was already packing his stuff and he went straight into defense without greeting – We cannot take you now! You are too late. If you would call, maybe we could arrange something. His voice was quite strict and I was shocked by his ‘rude’ response.

I told him, that I understand and I have explained that my phone was out of battery. It was not such a big deal, but my voice was already shaky. I got new date before planed travel and I was relieved.
However when I came out of the building and into the car, tears were started falling down.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go directly and automatically in fear and hurry right after I have remembered that I have an appointment, to judge myself as irresponsible, to feel attacked/blamed from dentist side and to go into victim/overwhelmed character and crying in the end.

 When and as I see myself going into fear – I stop and I breathe. 

I see that fear was the first element in the chain of reactions and if I would calm myself down and take a moment to look at it, I could cut chain reaction right there and prevent all unnecessary reacting which followed. I realise that I could prevent even going in automatic fear.

I commit myself to check my calendar every Sunday before new week and in weeks in which I have important meetings I will check it every night before I go to sleep - as the prevention of missing important meetings.