Replaying memories : negative behaviour of my ex

I broke up with my ex 7,8 years ago, yet I still often remember how bad he has treated me on many occasions… or should I say how bad have I let him to treat me… It looks like I haven’t written ‘him’ out enough.
One of the memories with negative charge related to him goes like this:

He had bald spot relatively young (25 or less) and it has bothered him a lot. One day he asked me ‘what if I shave it all down and go bald?’. It seemed like awesome idea to me, because it would be visually more attractive + he would not be bothered with handling his weak spot on daily basis anymore.

He asked me if I wanted to shave his hair with machine and I was immediately in – I wanted that experience. When I shaved his hair, he saw how uneven was hair and he started insulting me. He was getting more and more angry and in the end he became mean, he was yelling at me. I felt down, sad, I saw him as unjust in relation to me.
Later the hairdresser told him that for smooth bald look is necessary to end up with a razor in any case. Thus he saw that he was unfair to me, yet he didn’t apologise or said something – anything about his bad behaviour. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resented my ex because of his angry, yelling, mean, contempt-full, superior behavior which he has often expressed in relationship with and to me + I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to carry this specific negative memory on shaving his hair within me and replaying it every now and then – to feed myself as MCS with negative energy which I have attached to it.

When and as I see myself going into remembering memories with negative charge in relation to my ex with intention to feed myself as MCS – I stop and I breathe.

I realize, that he is no more present in my physical reality and he can’t scar(e) me with his angry appearance / I don’t need to feel inferior to him anymore. I see that it was me and me alone who has let him to express his superiority in relation to me from the very beginning of our relationship. I understand that with playing inferiority figure in his game I was allowing him to continue and intensify his destructive behavior. I realize that I was compromising myself as well as my impact on him ‘just’ because of sexual pleasures – orgasms, which I haven’t experienced regularly with any boy before him… Now I see that I can be in agreement in which I have nice sex as well as support on other areas.
I commit myself to stop replaying negative memories in relation to my ex. When they will come up, I will remind myself that I was compromising myself for something that I thought I can’t find elsewhere; but now I know I can, thus the compromising into fear and inferiority is over.

And if that will not help, I will write out more on specific memories that may come up.   

Encouragement instead of anger and judgement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry at women and for judging her as lazy, weak and exploiting, because she was afraid and/or nervous and she didn’t want to / she couldn’t calm herself.

When and as I see myself getting angry at others and judging them as lazy, weak and exploited, because they are afraid and/or nervous and they don’t want to / they can't calm them-self -- I stop and breathe.

I realize that I can relocate my energy from anger and judgement to encouraging them to do things without me / on their own. If they are still not willing to give up their victim character, I leave it to them and I'm not accepting it within myself in form of anger with justification 'I'm not able to show them how they are limiting themselves'.

I commit myself to start experimenting with effect of encouraging others instead of being angry and judgemental towards them.

Reacting with expectation & anger to new devices

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into anger, because (lady-comp / pearly) device did not show me what I wanted and expected to see and what device was predicting.

When and as I see myself going into anger, because the/a device doesn't show me what I want and expect to see and what device was predicting -- I stop and breathe.

I realize that I was in reaction relating new things / devices so many time before, but when I got use to them, all that reacting turned out so unnecessary and over-dramatic. I see that this time I was even more in reaction, because it was directly related to sex, to which I give a great value.

I commit myself to be more flexible - taking device's predictions for what they are - one of possibilities. After all the device is still learning and I can't expect that my menstrual cycle will be as constant as it was on contraception's pills.
+ I commit myself to working through expectations before they build up in that heavy mass with which I then pull myself down when the expectations are not meet.