Desire for eternal ecstasy : common sense

When I have tried ecstasy for the first time I was like ‘’holy fuck, that drug was made for me’’. Many times before it has happened that I wanted to dance longer, that there was that awesome song on play, but my body just didn’t cooperate anymore as I have danced myself out already.

But with ecstasy I could dance for hours + everybody was so nice and everything was so beautiful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to glorify pleasant effects of ecstasy and smoothly ignore unpleasant effect of ecstasy and thus ‘rape’ my body as well as mind with ‘more’.

Within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in desire that ecstasy mood would be always on – that my whole reality would look like that.

Now, I have stopped ecstasy completely many years ago, but it could be replaced with feelings of happiness + excitement +… let’s call it ultimate positive mix.   

When and as I see myself glorifying pleasant effects of positive energies mix and ignoring negative effects of positive energies mix – I stop and I breathe.

I see that with feelings is the same as with drugs – what goes up, must come down. Sooner or later the effects of ecstasy begin to fall and one starts feeling accumulated tiredness of the physical. Body wants to rest, but the mind is restless as fuck and it can be really annoying those few hours when one can’t get no sleep… + next 2,3 days when one is recovering from exhaustion from exaggerated movement. I realize that positive energies mix is not that intensive, but it works the same was – it makes body tired –- in set with negative polarity. More one is intensifying positivity, more negativity will follow…

I understand that is simply impossible to constantly exist in positive polarity, therefore I commit myself to stop longing for it and rather give more attention to what is here in that moment as physical and common sense. Who know what I may find…

 

That special place – creating it instead of missing it

In my childhood there was that special place behind our house; we had a really big sweet yellow cherry tree on which hanged homemade swing. Underneath was little hill on which were growing wood's strawberries. Part of 'hilly' was cut off and there was the sand-place where I used to play a lot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define that place as special and to missing it. Within that I forgive myself to associate it with worry-lessness and abundance and as such define it as positive.

When and as I see myself existing in longing for similar special place / paradise -- I stop and I breathe.

I look around me and I check out what kind of changes can I make in place in which I live to make it more joyful and pleasant. + I go in nature to discover interesting places and maybe put some creations in them - even if its temporarily.