ponedeljek, 16. september 2019

Asking experts for support / many people for experience as prevention of pain


On day x I've done cleansing of my bowels for medical examination. It was third one in the row for me and before doing it I got info that the prescribed laxative contains aspartame, which many are referring as sweet poison, silent killer etc.. Therefore, I've decided to try something different - I ate only soups for two days and I drank a laxative drink with lots of magnesium.
At the end of the third liter my anus was in such burning pain, that I have cried in despair at exterminations. There came the thought 'Fuck you with 'try everything and keep what's best''! I had that feeling like someone/something already knows what is best, but it doesn't want to show me and therefore I have to suffer. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to felt abandoned by the creator / universe / higher force / whatever and the portal while experiencing burning pain in my anus.

When and as I see myself falling in feeling of abandonment from the creator / universe / higher force / whatever and the portal while experiencing breath-shortening pain -- I stop and I take few breaths anyway.

I see, that I got the idea about chosen way of cleansing from specific person, which has usually commonsensical statements and which did use that method that has worked well AT HER... I understand that it was my choice to try it, no matter how much I didn't like the consequence. [Yawning all over... -- 'I just wouldn't do that to myself' deception] I realize, that I'm individual, a bit different than anybody else and I have to find for myself what does work the best for me - as I (should) know myself the best...

I've already described my situation and asked for support in group which has a lot of experience with bowel cleansing. In the future I will do that BEFORE I try something sensitively new...





Ni komentarjev:

Objavite komentar