Vividness

Few years ago I went to the youth mountain camp as a mentor. When we came on the top of 2000+ meters high mountain, we had hardly deserved snack break. We were already happy with our achievement and we were enjoying usual lunch a lot more then usually, when we got an extra surprise.
Near us was a crow (or maybe two) with opened wings, which were moving rarely as the wind was so strong that the bird was simply floating in the air at the same place. (It had that UFO like movement.)
I was fascinated and others also, there was honest wonder and excitement in the air and everything felt so alive…

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define vividness with (positively) charged moments with a lot of stimulation and/or happening or with moments of calmer satisfaction and to define every day / repeating / usual moments as opposite of vividness…

I see, that my vividness should not be depended on factors outside of me, but it should be inner state, decision of ‘I want to live’, decision of ‘I’m solution oriented’, decision of ‘I want to get to know everything as myself’.

I commit myself to stop looking for vividness triggers outside of me and to start giving/gifting them to myself through fulfilling my potentials.